she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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