I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
