I want you more than these girls want KFC
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
