It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
