There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
