I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
