so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
