Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
worst night to have a conscience
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
