and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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