After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
