we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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