She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
