she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
