Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize