I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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