Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
