I wanna bring you to show and tell
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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