My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
