i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
