dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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