as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
