Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
