so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
