summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
