Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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