I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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