just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
