We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
