she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
