ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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