Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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