Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
