Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
