I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
