Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
