Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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