Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
