You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
