so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
