That's intense
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
