my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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