i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
