So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
