I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
