u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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