There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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