You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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