I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
