so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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