god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
