Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
