Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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