party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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