Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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