An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
