An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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